This Cake

To eat this
Chocolate rich, moist, fudgy, pudgy, gooey, lovely
Cake
You will need:
Lips that love chocolate and a stomach full of greed,
A very large mouth, expandable cheeks.
(You must not have been fed for several weeks)
At least one sweet tooth
To suck up the food
And a plate about the size of the moon.
Eyes bigger than your tummy
A liking for all things yummy.

And to eat this
Sweety, treaty, icing-smothered, buttercream-covered 
Hundred and thousand encrusted
Cake
You will need:
Belief in the good life and the sweety creed
A sensitive palate, particular indeed
(You must not have been fed before this feed)
A suitable dentition
Enough of a spit to carry out the mission
A large container 
To contain the remainder
An appetite beyond the measure
Dedication to life’s pleasures.

Yes, to eat this
Chocolate rich, moist, fudgy, pudgy, gooey, lovely,
Sweety, treaty, icing-smothered, buttercream-covered 
Hundred and thousand encrusted,
Enlightening, inspiring, enticing, inviting,
Exciting, delighting
Cake
You will need:
Me
Your best mate
To help you.

I’m so sick of celebrity

Chorus
I’m so sick of celebrity
I’m so sick of celebrity
I’m so sick of celebrity
Who do you think you are?

I don’t want to know what you’re doin’
I don’t want to know what you’re wearin’
And I don’t care about what you’re eatin’
‘Cos I don’t care about you.

Chorus

I don’t care about you ‘avin’ babies
I don’t want to know what their name is
‘Cos they’ll grow up to be all the samies
Doin’ the same as you.

Chorus

I don’t wanna know about your problems
Your marriage or your diet or you drug addictions
‘Cos it’s nothing compared to my own afflictions
Earmin’ a livin’ wage.

Chorus

I don’t wanna see you on the TV
You fashion icon with your grinnin’ white teeth
You say you’re so humbled by the adulation
Who are you kiddin’?  Not me!

Chorus

I don’t wanna see you in the papers
Grabbin’ at the headlines with celebrity maties
You and your gaggle of egocentrics
Around you the world revolves.

Chorus

And I’m not supporting any charity
That thinks I should give money to a beggin’ celebrity
Not when they’re livin’ in the lap o’ luxury
Lordin’ it over us.
Chorus

I’m a common man in a celebrity culture
But I’m worth more than the flippin’ lot of yer
‘Cos I’m not mistaken, I don’t think I’m a god yeah
Me feet anchored on the ground.

Chorus

Get me out of ‘ere
Get me out of ‘ere
Celebrity cultured
It has cost us dear.

Dear Lake

Dear lake we are
The stones you slipped over.
Passed by both day
And night under your cover
We lay watching you lapping
In awe and wonder.

Dear lake we are
The tiny lives you hold
Carried aloft suspended as
Rudderless boats we float
And opaque we make you
A seamless green coat.

Dear lake we are
Wing-ed ones from on high
Marooned amongst the heavens
Bone beaks dry
Circling o’er you
Swift swoop dive.

Dear lake I am
The human who swam
Through the kissed calm
Touched by your planktonic arms
And dared to mention (on behalf of others)
Your unfathomable charms.

Baa Baa Rap Sheep

Chorus
Baa Baa Rap Sheep
Have you any beat
I’m shakin’ de wool
Clip-cloppin’ de feet
I’m Baa Baa Rap Sheep
You can hear me bleat
The rhythm of me eatin’
De green grass so sweet

A rap for de mother
A rap for de dame
Then someone starts sayin’
You sheep have no brain
Yes sir yes sir
It’s three bags full sir
But I’m hoppin’ and boppin’
I’m shakin’ de wool

Baa Baa Rap Sheep
Here come de farmer
Gonna do something
That he really ought not to
Gonna be a picture 
Of blood and slaughter
Better run sway 
With your sister and brother

Baa Baa Rap Sheep
In the field feet tappin’
The sheepies are bleatin’
They’re givin’ it feelin’
And dreamin’ of freedom
No lamb chop and mutton
We’re gonna stop ‘em
With that hoppin’ and boppin’

Baa Baa Rap Sheep
The sheep is getting’ smarter
They’re rappin’ undercover
Every sister and brother
They’re flockin’ together
Be rappin’ forever
I hear the Creator
Is comin’ to save yer

This here Baa  Baa
Is a rappin’ smash
Rap in the present
Wool in the past
It came to pass
Of luscious green grass
You not heard the latest
Of that rappin’ blast